In the movie, Dan, the main character, has a very busy life. He’s a young college student and athlete, bound for the Olympics, he trains hard, plays hard and gets good grades.  A certain feeling of uneasiness comes over him about his life, something he’s never had before.  He seeks the counsel of a wise elder who begins to show him the way.

At one point in the movie, they agree to meet at a bridge overlooking a shallow creek at the college for a lesson.  Dan, in his hurried world, totally forgets that he also has an athletic tryout at the same time he agreed to meet his mentor.  He tells his friend to hold a spot for him at the gym, and sprints to the bridge.  He catches up with his mentor Soc (short for Socrates) who is leaning on the bridge railing, quietly observing nature.

“Soc, I’m sorry,” Dan blurts out “I completely forgot I have tryouts in a few minutes.  Can we make this quick?”

“Sure,” says Soc.

And he throws Dan over the bridge, into the water.

“WHAAAAAAA!” yells Dan, as he jumps up, soaking wet.  “What did you do THAT for?”

“When you were falling, what were you thinking of?”  Soc said quietly.

Dan stared blankly, unable to answer.

“NOTHING” said Soc.  “You were totally in this moment.  You weren’t thinking of the tryout, you weren’t thinking of school you weren’t thinking about anything except what you were experiencing, right here, right now.  Slow down.  Be present.  Look at everything going on around you.”

“There’s nothing going on,” said Dan as he observed the people in the park.

“Look closer” said Soc.

Soon Dan began to notice things.  Little things at first.  The lovers smiling and kissing.  The dog grabbing a ball.  Then, as he got into the moment, he began to notice true beauty around him.  The leaves on the trees.  The sound of the wind blowing.  Laughter, insects and even the sound of the water running in the creek.

Slowing down is an important part of speeding up.  Do you spend time in observation, totally in silence, or are you racing through life trying to reach a destination?

My plan for this year is to slow down to speed up.  Huge things are happening for me that I’ll share in other posts, and in order to receive those huge gifts (and realize my dreams), slowing down must happen.  I’m even going to show you how if you join me in the upcoming 2-Day Tuneup Retreat.  It’s our signature event for 2010 and I know you’re going to love it.

So what do you think could happen for you if you slowed down a little bit?

Leave me a comment and let me know.

After going in with much anticipation and knowing that I would need to keep a strong mind to be able to stay positive in the midst of so much chaos and negativity, I was astonished to find that in my own mind, I had created a massive dose of anxiety and fear in my mind and body.   How could that be?  After all, aren’t I some kind of new thought guru that understands how thoughts can create emotion?  Don’t I have control of my own thoughts?

Apparently not.

The “what if” monster got me good.   I found myself sitting in the theater, watching the Earth destruct in 2012 and thinking:

• What if it’s true?
• What if there is scientific data and I have been ignoring it?
• What if everything I’m doing is for nothing?
• What if the belief I have about 2012 being a spiritual new world is wrong?
• What if I don’t see my family before then?

And the biggest (and honestly most selfish) thought of all:

What if I’m not one of the survivors?

I needed to come back to the present moment and I needed to do it now.  But I couldn’t.  I decided to check it out a little more on the internet, just to calm my nerves.  Conspiracy theorists, propaganda, predictions galore.  (What was I expecting?)  My nerves got worse as I surfed.  I really wanted to stop, but I almost couldn’t.  It was kind of like picking a scab and expecting a cut to heal.  Finally, the anxiety got to a point where I couldn’t ignore it.

And I did this to MYSELF!

“Get away from the Internet”, my own voice told me.  “There is only this moment.  The future hasn’t happened.”

“Yes, I know,” I said to myself “but what if…”

“STOP IT!”

Leaning back in my chair, I felt powerful just clicking the little X to close the window on my browser.  Predictions be gone.  Whatever is going to happen is going to happen (or not happen) and that’s just the way it is.   Have you ever felt anxiety over a situation and obsessed about the negative outcome?  Of course you have.  But when you come back into the present moment, set up a step by step plan and get into action, there is no “what if”.  There is only NOW.

What do you need stop worrying about and get into the present about right now?  Leave me a comment and let’s stay present together.

All is ok.

Sometimes you just want to quit.

I have something very personal I want to share today.

This past year, has been one of those upheaval and transformational times for me too.   While we were going through the trials of getting things right in the University, I was also helping my mother through a series of health challenges that put her in the hospital over 20 times between August and May.  For a while during this time last year,

I was going to the emergency room every two weeks, over 72 visits.

During this time, I also got a divorce and lost my two biggest clients on the same day.

So why am I telling you this?  Definitely not to make you feel anything but joy for sharing because while these experiences could have been devastating, I was primarily able to maintain a calm emotional state through the change (yes, there were some very anxious times, but they were relatively short lived)

I could have buried my head in the sand and said “Why me?”

But our clients, people like you, needed more help to get through their own challenges.

And for that I am grateful.

You see, massive change can cause great creativity.  So what did I do?

Well, I put my full effort into making the University the best resource for helping people make change happen that I could. We developed great new ways of helping people manage changes that are going on.  We debuted the Inner Circle the most cost-effective change, producing coaching group.   The list goes on and on.

In a few short weeks, we will be debuting the new Success IQ University community- where people are making change happen.  You are one of those people, and we’re proud to know you.

If change is happening in your life right now, you’re going to be ok.

We’ll do it together…

You might be scratching your head right now and saying to yourself “that gal is crazy – totally nuts”.  I know it must seem that way but keep reading – you might find a nugget in there somewhere.

You see, most of the world trudges through life with “have-tos” running through their head, and “wish for” silently consuming their thoughts.  The factory worker who really wants to start his or her own business.  The executive who really would like to quit, but is stuck with golden handcuffs.  The office worker who wants to go back to school.  These are all examples of people wanting something and not taking action to get it.

So the world is giving them a push.  Layoffs, cutbacks, broken contracts and change are everywhere.  This, my dear readers is one of the biggest opportunities you are ever going to have to reach your potential and finally really get that thing you’ve been secretly and silently wanting.

You might be thinking “Well, okay I get that, but why does it have to be so hard?”  The truth is:  it DOESN”T have to be hard.  We make it hard by holding so tight onto the thing we don’t want that we fail to appreciate the opportunities at hand.

I have a private client who has just been through the 2-Day Turnaround breakthrough program.  When she came in, she knew things weren’t working and she wasn’t reaching her potential but didn’t want to let go of the little bits that she believed were working.  We found the irony in that she was working 16 hour days and had very little results to show for it.  Little by little, she began to realize that the choices she had made could be reversed – and that her potential could change immediately.

What she really wanted and what she was doing were two completely different things.  We formulated a plan for her to let go of things not working and realign herself with what she really wanted.  The opportunities started showing up immediately.  Within 3 months, she completely transformed her life and her business and is now happily doing the work she loves for clients she adores.

Here are 5 things that were holding her back from her potential (and might be holding you back too).

1.  Not admitting that things aren’t working - If things are difficult and struggles are an everyday occurrence, something is terribly wrong. Struggle is different than challenge.  Challenge can be invigorating – struggle is draining.  The first step in unlocking your potential is to take inventory of your life and consider what’s not working.  The symptoms of things not working will be lack of something (not enough time, money, energy, relationships, etc)

2.  Not knowing your style and values - Understanding your unique blueprint of the world is critical if you’re going to make the right decisions for you.  Consider what’s important to you about your life and match your values to your activities to get yourself in alignment with your dreams.

3. Saying “Yes” to too many things – What activities are taking up your time?  What’s on your plate right now?  And more importantly, what needs to come off your plate?  Are you trying to force yourself to complete a project, have a relationship, build a business that doesn’t work?  Who or what do you need to say “No” to today?

4.  Not being comfortable not knowing – Who knows what will happen today, tomorrow, next week or next year for that matter?  Spending time in an anxious state of not knowing is not helpful or productive in any way, and will only make you more fearful.  Having a death grip on something that’s not working is more detrimental than being in the “goo” of not knowing.  All creation takes place in this state of not knowing because it’s becoming known!

5. Not having faith and trust in the process – When you are on the path to reaching your potential, it sometimes feels like the world has gone badly awry.  The constant shifting and changing (and people leaving and new ones appearing) can have a devastating effect if you try to manipulate every situation to your needs.  During this time, it is important to examine what IS working and what you ARE working toward instead of looking back and noticing the destruction.

I know that for my client (and myself too) these are the things we constantly go through as we evolve.  It does become easier to go through the roller coaster of life with a few rules (and some good friends) along the way.

You can see the video here.

It was a simple statement, one that told me everything I needed to know about his life.  He literally had a “pain in the neck” situation going on at work, and it showed up as a physical pain.   When I first got my master certification in NLP and hypnosis, I was instantly drawn to a different type of coaching – working through emotions by working through pain.

Most people don’t know that pain is connected – much less that NLP can solve these kinds of problems.  NLP is mostly associated with persuasion, as in sales.  But it can also be used to persuade your brain to process information differently.  Pain is caused by the brain having a thought which causes an emotion.  The emotional strain on the cells in the affected area become constricted, which causes that neck, back, leg, foot, shoulder, stomach or headache pain (the list goes on and on).

Last week, I helped a man overcome 10 months of chronic stomach pain in 45 minutes.  He released his pain very quickly once he connected the emotional state he was feeling.  At first, he said he was having no emotion (and a high level of pain).  Soon he got in touch with his emotions and the pain started to go.   And then it was gone.

So here are a few things you should know about pain or physical symptoms and their meanings:

Neck pain - Stubbornness, Inflexibility (What is giving you a pain in the neck?)

Back – The back has 3 sections (lower, middle and upper) and it’s about being supported

Lower Back – Worries about financial support

Middle Back – Guilt. Carrying all that stuff on your back (maybe you’re taking responsibility for more than you need to?)

Upper Back – Emotionally unsupported – lonely (take a look at your relationships)

Knees - Your ego and pride is in the way.  (left means the past and right means moving forward)

Headache – Making yourself wrong – criticizing yourself (where do you need to appreciate yourself more?0

Stomach – Afraid of new things (maybe huge life change is coming and you don’t know what’s next?)

Feet - Understanding of ourselves and others and letting change happen (feet keep you moving)

Shoulder – Lack of joy in life (feeling like you’re shouldering the load?)

Of course, there are literally hundreds of meanings for pain and illness, so I just wanted to share a few with you today.  Maybe it will help a little bit to figure out whatever needs detangling right now in your own life.

Leave a comment and let me know what you experience.

I hate it when that happens.

Because I’m the one who made it that way, and there’s no other excuse.

While I’m normally a very neat and orderly person, (I am a Virgo, after all) having a mess around is a clear indicator that things are moving too fast in my very quick thinking, creative mind.  Too much excitement for really good things happening gets energy all flowing, projects started – and a mess everywhere I go.   (Maybe you can relate?)

While it’s not a secret that I’ve been diagnosed with ADD, I think it happens to be one of the most misunderstood, mislabeled, misdirected and biggest excuses there is for not getting control of your life.   So you’re a creative thinker.  You forget stuff.  Your mind goes 100 miles a minute and your ideas spew out like popcorn in a kernel cooker.    All that means is you need new ways of being, new systems for making sure you’re productive, and a new understanding (and gentler compassion) of and for yourself.

I used to beat myself up alot when when I didn’t do things in the proper order, like the rest of the world.  I guess that’s why I’ve gotten so good at creating systems that will provide structure and simplicity so I don’t have to keep all that garbage in my head.  Anyway, looking out at my house right now tells me that my system for self care and down time isn’t working.

It’s simply an outer manifestation of my inner world.  In short – I’ve been overscheduled this week, moving quickly from one appointment to the next with almost no time in between.  Phone ringing, texts, emails, Skype, Twitter, Facebook - constant interruptions have put my mind into overload and increased my frustration factor by 100.  It doesn’t feel good.   But at least I am in control.

So here are the steps to take if this ever happens to you:

1.  STOP.  Now.  (Make space for 60 minutes of forced quiet time).

2.  Turn off everything that distracts you (email, phones, texts, skype, IM…bye bye!)  You’ll feel an instant sense of relief when you press “Off” or “Close”.   You can have one hour of undisturbed time.  The world will continue to function even if your phone is off.

3.  Spend your 60 minutes like this: Take the first 30 minutes to put on some quiet, soothing music, lie down and close your eyes.  (If you are prone to falling asleep, set an alarm.)  Imagine a big truck with a huge trailer.  Put your head in the trailer and dump all of your random thoughts into the trailer for later retrieval.  Clear your mind of the clutter.  Breathe.  Now imagine a big black movie screen.  On the movie screen appears the word “RELAX”  See it, hear it and feel it all over your body.  Take another deep breath.  Give yourself permission to have 30 minutes of completely undisturbed quiet time.

Now that you’ve cleared some of the internal clutter, use the second 30 minutes to pick up, clear out and throw away the external clutter.  Pick ONE place to have success (like the kitchen table).  Do not try to tackle the entire house at one time.  Pick one, clear it, pick another, clear it, etc.  Break it down into small, manageable chunks.

Once you do this, you’ll have instant momentum because you will be truly doing the thing that is most important that keeps you on track.

That’s all for today.  Gotta go put on some soothing music.     Don’t call text or Tweet me for at least an hour – I’m busy.

How to Stay Happy Even if Things Are Falling Apart

Does this sound familiar?

• Every day begins in overwhelm and frustration because you aren’t sure what your next steps might be.
• You are filled with anxiety because your future is uncertain.
• Relationships have become a struggle and communication is rocky
• Your bank account is in the danger zone
• You have tons of information but no result…

If this makes sense to you, then it’s probably true for you that things aren’t working. Millions of people just like you have struggled needlessly in life because of one simple problem (and no it’s got nothing to do with getting the latest and greatest gadget, tool, information or system).

The problem is this: You were never taught HOW to manage your emotional and mental and physical states to be passionate, productive, purposeful and powerful in any situation. I mean, it’s simply not taught in school. If you’re not having the results you want from your business, your life, your relationships or with your health, one of 3 things is wrong

Your Behavior is inconsistent (emotions running all over the place)

Your Action is inconsistent (lack of focus, overwhelmed and frustrated)

Your Relationships are draining (feelings of isolation and loneliness)

It’s sad to see so many smart people falling victim to depression, obesity, loneliness, addiction, breakups and pain simply because they have never been taught how to be happy in any situation.  (And I don’t mean that fake affirmation stuff that your brain totally disagrees with – I mean the secrets to TRUE emotional happiness and wealth.)  Simply put, you can’t make money if you’re in a constant state of anxiety.

But there is GOOD news!

You’re a lot closer to success than you think.  Often it just takes a different perspective, a small change to drastically increase your passion, purpose, power and profits.

I know what works.  I live it every day, even though I’ve been through failure in relationships, in finance, in business – in almost every aspect of my life.  But I have learned (and use) the information I’m going to share with you to be emotionally stable (and happy), even in the darkest of times.  (If you’ve been around me, you know I laugh – a lot!)

Yes, it’s possible.  And it can be real for you too.

Use my experience to your advantage and avoid the regret of a life
unfulfilled, with secrets to rapidly increase your emotional
well being, your income and your relationships with
fewer steps, in the least amount of time possible.

Staying Up in Down Times
How to Stay Happy Even if Your World is Falling Apart

NOW ONLY $17!

Get this invaluable training system today for over 93% OFF of retail price!

Here’s What You Get

• 7 Critical Factors that Block Your Wealth and Drain Your Passion Audio Training (Hear how 2 of our students reclaimed a whopping combined 99 hours per month and doubled their income in 90 days!)  (Value $27)

• Bonus Q&A on the 7 Critical Factors (listen in as Stephanie laser coaches people to make instant transformation in 5 minutes or less) (Value $27)

• Get the F.A.S.T. formula video training (There are the same systems that helped Russell Brunson get a project done in 17 minutes that put six figures in his pocket!) (Value $27)

• 5 Steps to Getting Anything You Want Video Training (the secret to passionately and purposefully achieving your dreams – and how one student reached her dream goal in 90 days by changing only one little thing.) (Value $27)

• Get Determined Now! Audio (move into a determined state anytime you want to – fast!) (Value $27)

• Get Decisive Now! Audio (can’t decide what’s next?  Pop this audio into your .MP3 player and instantly feel the difference in your decision-making abilities) (Value $27)

• Supercharged Self-Esteem Audio (Tough times can wreak havoc on your self-esteem.  Reclaim that part of you that is crying out for attention and eliminate the distraction of the “little voice inside” (Value $27)
• Plus…you’ll also get a FREE 14 day trial in the Success IQ Inner Circle personal performance training program where you’ll get coaching, encouragement and assistance LIVE 2 times per month from Stephanie and her coaches at the University.   Being around like-minded people is the first step to success, and let’s face it – something needs to change, does it not?  (After your 14 day trial, your coaching and training will continue at a mere $27/month.  It’s a pittance in exchange for your emotional well being.)

Here’s the best part: If during the 14 day trial, or anytime thereafter, you wish to cancel, simply shoot over an email and we will cancel you immediately.

That’s right. No questions, no hassles, no hard feelings. I don’t want you to have my training if it isn’t right for you.

Why only $17?

I understand if you’re skeptical so let me just be straight.  We have a vision to see happy people everywhere.  We can’t work one on one with everyone, and pocketbooks are tight.  So I wanted to create something that could easily afford that would boost your emotional state so you could reduce your anxiety and get more productive, that would also help me reach my vision at the same time.  It’s that simple.

I like seeing you smile.

Check it out here:  http://www.HappyPeopleEverywhere.com

For many, it is inconceivable that someone famous, wealthy or in the perfect relationship could have anything but joy in their life.  We have little regard for those who are in a better situation than us.  Yet this is a topic that bears discussion, for anyone reading this today who wishes for more success in your life will surely at some point be subjected to many of the same stressors that Michael Jackson did.  (though not to the same degree)

Many of you have written asking me to post on this topic.  Michael Jackson’s demons have been obvious for 2 decades or more.  It has shown greatly through his music.  As his star began to rise with his solo album “Off the Wall”, he wrote songs of life, happiness and joy.  It got more intense with Thriller, as his genius shone through his music.  That’s when the pressure started.  Beginning with the song Carousel (an extra track on Thriller album) Michael begins to show strain.  Consider these lyrics:

She’s from a world
of popcorn and candy
pony rides for a dime
little children laughing

I’m from a world
of disappointment and confusion
But I want her to be mine

I lost my heart
on the carousel
to a circus girl
who left my heart in pieces

While this could be interpreted many ways, I choose to consider these lyrics as an unconscious cry for help.  The carousel representing the throngs of people, opportunities and spotlight suddenly thrust in his face, going round and round in new and unfamiliar territory.  The girl representing fame, adoration and all things that artists want and need in order to have a sustainable public career.  Discovering that it was not as glamorous as it seemed to be, having his personal life suddenly out for display to millions of people when he was already in an emotionally overwhelmed state is like the girl who broke his heart.

Of course, the love of performing, perfecting his singing and dance moves, and pure passion for his work continued to drive him   Additionally his handlers, publicists, managers and advisors would have never said at that time in his career “why don’t you take a rest”  No way.  And so we got the next album, “Bad”.  Another great album, with more obvious cracks coming.

Consider these two tracks – “Man in the Mirror”  and “Leave me Alone”.  While the second is a pretty obvious title, Man in the Mirror clearly takes an introspective look at the world around.  He says:

I’ve been the victim of
a selfish kind of love
It’s time that I realize
there are some with no home
not a nickel to loan
could it really be pretending that they’re not alone?

As fame consumed him even more, Leave me alone became an interesting development in what I believe is a major shift in his ability to handle the pressures of success.  He says the words “Leave me Alone” 31 times in this song, and again refers to the “girl” this way:

There Was A Time I Used To
Say Girl I Need You
But Who Is Sorry Now
You Really Hurt, You Used To
Take And Deceive Me
Now Who Is Sorry Now
You Got A Way Of Making Me
Feel So Sorry
I Found Out Right Away
Don’t You Come Walkin’-
Beggin’ I Ain’t Lovin’ You
Don’t You Get In My Way

Here the same “girl” he was chasing takes on a very new and different persona.  But probably the most haunting lyrics came out of a song on the next album, Dangerous.  The song Will you Be There not just hints at, but begs for help.  Consider these lyrics:

Everyone’s taking control of me
Seems that the world’s
Got a role for me
I’m so confused
Will you show to me
You’ll be there for me
And care enough to bear me

At this point in his life, Michael Jackson could not even cross the street, go out in public, or go to the grocery store to pick up a gallon of milk.  Almost all normal human behaviors were now unavailable to him due to his fame.  If he went out, he would get mobbed.   When he did venture out, it was in costume.  The emotional downside of that kind of success – the lonliness, self-doubt, lowered self-esteem, regret, sorrow, pain and fear is rarely talked about.  But it should be.  After all, we all want success, do we not?  And yet, people are not taught how to manage emotions, relationships, finances, career, mental and physical health when suddenly on the fast track to success.

At the memorial service, Marlon Jackson bravely shared his thoughts about Michael’s inability to have a normal life:

The next stages of breakdown further showed in the spoken lyrics of Will you Be There, as Michael showed the emotional side of questioning life purpose.  This is a very emotional and important piece of life and certainly not only at the feet of people with a certain amount of public celebrity.  Questioning purpose is on the lips and minds of every successful executive, business owner, entrepreneur, and anyone with a fast-moving life or career.  Purpose is the all important question that we alone must answer – and it wasn’t clear whether Michael ever did get that answer for himself, as he spoke in the song:

In our darkest hour
In my deepest despair
Will you still care?
Will you be there?
In my trials
And my tripulations
Through our doubts
And frustrations
In my violence
In my turbulence
Through my fear
And my confessions
In my anguish and my pain
Through my joy and my sorrow
In the promise of another tomorrow
I’ll never let you part
For you’re always in my heart.

The descent further carried itself out in later albums with song lyrics such as “Scream”, “They don’t care about us”, “Blood on the dance floor”, “Morphine”,”Ghosts”, “Is it Scary?” “Cry”, ”Privacy” and “Threatened”.  It doesn’t take much analysis to figure out the downward slide that these songs shared consciously or unconsciously with the audience.  This was a person in great pain.  It was a pain of fame, but most importantly a pain from the pure lack of emotional intelligence that was so sorely needed for him to have been able to enjoy life.

So while this is my own personal opinion on the lyrics, I will say this:  you do not have to be a celebrity to experience similar kinds of emotional breakdown as you experience sudden or increased success.  Emotional intelligence (your ability to manage and experience your emotions) is at the root of whether you will ultimately be happy in your life, purposeful in your work and passionate about your activities.  When you have these things, you will have the world….at the best price – peace.